Yr 8 wrote a short narrative as part of the writing competitions. The students had to write a short narrative inspired by the film we studied this term – Whale Rider. They were given a specific scene from which to set their orientation and this is Cooper I winning effort.
Beneath The Kelp
As she descended into the icy depths of the ocean, Paikea began to hear no more of the frothing white whims which she had created from agitated water, she had to get that tooth, and would die to do so… from ten metres down, it was dead silent, she heard nothing, felt nothing, saw nothing. It was another world. But then she saw. It was the bottom. An ominous, looming great hand of kelp seemed to extend out of its grizzly residence in the ground, and everything else followed suit. Pai was no longer in another world, but was absorbed now into another universe.
The entangled growth of kelp faded down along the tunnel, as Pai kept walking. She had been in the rusty old tinny, sitting with Uncle Rawiri and Aunty Shilo, and their two sons. They were looking for the whale’s tooth that Koro had tossed into the water. “I’ll get it,” she had said, and dived into the water, descending into the blue depths. That’s all she remembered, and now she was in this far fletched cavern, full of gleaming ponds and reflective walls. Stalactites hung ornamentally from the glistening ceiling, and stalagmites on the ground jutted out across the floor. As Pai wandered around the cavern, she strode unaware into a huge hanging stalactite, and bumped her head. She made the reflex of grunting with pain, but realised that the pain wasn’t even there. Something was wrong. Where am I? she thought to herself. How did I get here? All she knew, was that she was either dead or having a dream. What else could it be? She kept wandering, gazing with utter marvel at the vast glamour of limestone walls, and crystal clear rockpools. But this wasn’t doing anything. For all she knew, she could be stuck here forever.
Back up in the lurching tinny, Shilo made a remark. “She’s been down there a long time,” she pointed out, to which Rawiri replied with:
“Nah she’ll be fine.”
Only a minute had passed since Rawiri’s reassurance, and he was already in the water searching for his niece. He had felt the same deepening silence Pai had when he descended, and felt something severely wrong was going to happen. He descended into the murky green depths of the kelp bed, but his face was not green from the reflection of the sea foliage. It was pale, and senseless with terror of what he had seen. Pai’s body, engulfed in the mystic hand of kelp, lay lifeless at the bottom of the ocean, her eyes glazed over, and her skin as blue as the ocean around her. The body looked almost peaceful, just relaxed and tranquil. But her eyes held a powerful image of worry. They shone in juxtaposition with the green kelp, and when he looked closer, he saw a cavern, but his movement was a fatal mistake, as he dove, the kelp below him reached out, and grabbed him violently, absorbing him into abyss. But just before everything went black, he saw it. A vision of a whale, and on that whale a figure. It was Pai…